I wanted love so badly

 I wanted love so badly 

I wanted love so badly…

I lost my head…..

I listen to my heart all the time…

It keeps breakin…..

Cos I wanted a fairytale…

I wanted romance 

But somebody turned away…

Discarded my butterflies…

I can’t make him love me…

I wanted him to change his mind 

Yet there’s no hope….

I thought love has walked away from me 

Actually it was the opposite,

The heavy disappointment is tellin me 

He’s not the one….

He never was…

But,

I stay 

And stay

Waitin for him to spin his heart around…

Cos I wanted love so badly…

I wanted him to love me, too….

He couldn’t, 

He can’t,

Not like that…

He loves somebody else….

I stopped 

Lingerin 

It took me a long time 

To wake up….

If I was patient for too long 

My heartache would sink me in deep…

I’d be cryin all the time 

Maybe not cry 

But bitter…

Cos I wouldn’t know how to get over 

A man who doesn’t want me….

This type of obsession can ruin my health….

How much love did I want?

How badly did I crave?

Desperation has a name for it….

Honestly 

To be real with myself 

No man is worth it….

If he doesn’t love me, 

If he doesn’t see me,

He doesn’t value me….

Women like myself 

be lying to themselves 

About we’re goin to be together 

Forever…got all hopes up 

Til we realized 

These are Mr. wrongs….

They showed who they are 

Somehow true colors went over our heads…

When we consume into a relationship 

Like fools

Not knowin it’s toxic….

We fight and defend with a passion

That men’s souls are not red flags….

Cos we wanted love so badly….

But we have to use wisdom 

And be extra cautious with our hearts 

Before we fall in love…….

There are too much Fakeness 

In the world….sometimes 

We have to guard ourselves 

And go slow, 

I need to remember that….

I have to sustain that thought in my mind 

Cos I usually rush like terrible habits….

I need to practice 

To go slow

To become wiser

I don’t need to harden my heart 

That much….

Be kind 

Be honest 

Be a good friend 

Love is a big word 

Full of verbs 

And I must be careful….

✊🏿💯©️Kai C. 6-24-26