If I ever feel bad

 If I ever feel bad 

If I ever feel bad

About writin the truth on paper…

If I ever cry over and change my mind 

Cos of death threats 

Hypothetically,

Like convincin me to stop writin 

My blackness into metaphors…

Like somebody force me to give up my pen

I’d end up listenin cos of fear

Cos of real life circumstances 

That haunts….

I’d exchange my boldness for somethin

Else…

I’d give away my voice to someone else….

I’d sob heavily…

If this situation happened, 

I might lose my audience who is all about 

Black power…. 

I don’t wanna go back to sambos 

And coons….

Do I really have to say I can’t write 

Black poems anymore?

A certain white power structure could 

Persuade me to keep my words of melanin 

To myself?

I mean I don’t wanna be told not to 

Express myself…

I never wanna be told not to explain 

What racism really is….

Why would you tell somebody what to do

Write especially in the comfort of 

White folks?

Who created this setup anyway?

I write about slavery 

I write Jim Crow 

I write our conditions 

And trauma responses…

I have expand my horizons a lot…

Don’t you know that 

Racism needs to be discussed seriously 

In the black community 

So I write it for black people

Cos it still is in our faces….

I don’t wanna feel bad 

I don’t wanna change my mind 

I don’t wanna apologize 

I don’t wanna stop writin the truth….

I don’t care about white feelings…..

Nor other races’ feelings….

I wanna educate people 

I wanna bring facts…

If I lose friends 

I’ll lose them….

Some people respect me 

For speakin up 

For advocatin black people….

Yes people will say 

Somethin 

People will get offended 

Cos black people 

Are standin up for black people….

And to white supremacy 

They don’t like that very much…

A few racists did say somethin

and they feel uncomfortable 

Black poets shouldn’t care 

What they say, what they think 

What they do…

What I’m sayin is that I don’t wanna be 

A safe negro…..

I do have the right to be a dangerous black poetess

Sharp as a knife….

And a dangerous black poetess do get banned 

I don’t know about being assassinated 

I just know 

When readers enjoy black poetry 

They feel empowered 

They do have the power to do somethin…

I’m aware that 

Not everyone reads poetry…

But the world loves spoken word 

It goes viral….

Yet still unknown….

However if a black poem goes around 

and create spaces of discomfort zone 

For white people, 

They do everything to have an algorithm 

To erase it….

Not even put in school or stores….

They might send emails to a black poet

To complain 

To threaten to hush that voice…

But I want a black poet to hold its bravery tightly 

It’s a risk….

I don’t wanna be in a position 

Where the government follows me around 

Cos of my black poem….

My loved ones don’t need to be

In a dangerous situation 

Cos of my voice…..

If I ever feel bad, 

I could be force to go back to be a 

Safe black person…

To be cautious black poetess….

That’s what I’m afraid of…..

I’m glad i ain’t famous….

I don’t have a book of 

Black power 

That might shake the white society….

I write too much 

I post them online 

And some people read them 

And love it…

Others might have backed away 

Cos of the truth speaks 

It gives tremors…

However 

If I ever feel bad 

If people get into my head 

Constantly,

I might stop 

Honestly 

I might stop completely 

and there will be no more black poems….

It would be ashamed 

And I’m sorry that I have to say this 

I will never know 

If it comes to the point…

I wanna know 

How many black poets have stopped 

Writin black poetry for the sake of 

White people and other races?

Do they feel bad?

✊🏿💯©️Kai C. 6-29-26